Memories Never Fall
by Auror Lupin
Summary: Those left alive look back on that night and recall the events that unfolded in such a short amount of time. The traitor, the spy, and the friends each share a portion of the memories that haunt them.


Memories Never Fall  
  
A/N: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. I just like to play with them every once in a while. They still belong to J.K. Rowling however much I wish they were mine *giggle*  
  
Chapter One Peter  
  
I still remember.  
  
The one thing I recall about the clearing, the one thing that sticks out in my mind more than anything was how dark the sky was. It was almost as if the pinpricks of light that normally illuminated the sky or the moonbeams that shown down from the heavens couldn't reach me. Also there was that feeling in the air of that circle of ghastly figures. It was like heavy air before a lightening storm, electricity that vibrated in the very night, pressing in and choking me.  
  
I looked to each one of those hooded, cloaked, and masked figures and realized that it was my own fear that was driving me to do this, such an awful thing. They had done nothing, nothing to deserve this from me. I was entrusted with their lives, they put their faith in me that I would keep them safe and now here I was about to turn over those same friends of mine to death. It was because I was never as strong as they were and I knew it. For my very first year at Hogwarts I stuck to them because they were big, and they were powerful. They would defend me, but they no longer could. Even Sirius with his boastful swagger and Remus with his hidden feral, carnivorous power. They could not save me because they, themselves were in danger. But they, they could at least attempt defend themselves and I could not.  
  
I had aligned myself with the wrong group, they were up against too much. James and Lily had every charm, every possibly precaution to ward off this ever present attack but what did I have? Who did I have to defend me? Sirius was too busy making sure no harm would come to the Potters and Remus, despite his good intentions, couldn't help. I had no choice, no choice but to ensure my own survival. My life was in jeopardy and I would do whatever I could to ensure that I would not be slaughtered. With the death of James, Lily, and the child, I would be free from fear.  
  
That was my mindset. Save yourself Peter, worry about the others later, but as I looked at the faceless masks of Voldemort's followers I was beginning to doubt that mindset. Perhaps Lucius was in that silent circle. Lucius Malfoy who had made it his goal to belittle me every chance he could get. The same Lucius Malfoy who was confronted and attacked by James when I had told him that I had been jumped behind the Quidditch Pitch by the pureblood and his croonies. It hasn't mattered to James that he was much smaller and indeed younger than Malfoy.  
  
Perhaps Narcissa was there as well whom Lily slapped in the face. I had to smile at that memory as well. It was the Yule ball and I had somehow found the courage to ask her to dance with me. And she had called me a....now what was it...ah yes, a filthy swine. Hotheaded Lily had overhead and slapped her right in the center of the dance floor! Which resulted in Lucius threatening her, Sirius appearing and casting hexes on the both of them, and Dumbledore hauling all three of them, with James, Remus and I in tow to his office.  
  
Maybe Crabbe and Goyle as well, who Remus had talked into giving back the galleons they had stolen from me at Hogsmeade. All of the haughty pure bloods who had looked down on me, patronized me and offended me throughout my years at Hogwarts were standing before me in his ranks and I was going to hand over those who had defended me. What kind of a friend was I? What sense did that make?  
  
I didn't have much time to contemplate that fact however, as a great sweeping figure broke through the assembled and came to stand before me, staring down his nose as I noticeably cowered. It was his eyes. His eyes, whose gaze seared through flesh and facade to come to rest on the very soul it was set upon. Those frightening oculars, which watched with an unwavering gaze, every movement and I'm sure every thought within me. It seemed as if it was hours before he finally lifted his head, peering down at me through the silence and thickness that had come to set around all gathered there that night. "You say you have some information that may prove useful to me. My time is quite valuable and you are wasting it, speak." The Dark Lord commanded a claw like hand withdrawing from within the folds of his robe.  
  
My gaze instantly fell to his wand, griped in that hand and I remember stuttering as the sweat rolled off my face in beads. Fear had seized my throat and I soon found it impossible to breathe. A small wave of murmurs rose from within the dark circle and I believe the narrowed eyes of Voldemort is what coaxed me into speaking once more.  
  
"You want the Potters." I squeaked out in a high pitched, broken voice. I cleared my throat before gazing up at him once more, not bringing myself to look to his eyes I instead focused my gaze on his shoulder. "I know how you can have them all to yourself."  
  
Hesitantly I had looked up once more to see one of the closest Death Eaters step to Voldemort's side. I studied his mask, I saw the gray eyes of Lucius Malfoy as he leaned a bit closer to the Dark Lord, dropping into a deep bow before venturing, "If I may...my Lord?" in that smooth voice of his. Lucius tilted his head up to spot Voldemorts reaction and when he received a nod he straightened, peering at me behind that mask.  
  
"I happen to know that this sniveling little creature is an accomplice of that whole crowd, my Lord. Perhaps it would be prudent to-" Immediately the flow of words I had been dreading was silenced simply by a raising of Voldemort's hand. Lucius gave another bow of his head and retreated back within the formation of the circle.  
  
"Thank you very much, however I am well aware of what he is and I must ask.why should I trust someone who would betray his friends?" he inquired taking a step closer to me, eyes flashing. Involuntarily I had whimpered and I remember wringing my hands nervously before me as I stuttered out. "I- I-I....Well...I...er...I mean that is..I.." I'm not exactly sure how long I blathered on like an idiot. I only remember seeing the frustration in Voldemort's face before a hand shot out and clutched me by the collar of my robes, jerking me closer to him. His wand touched menacingly against my face, digging into the skin. "What did I say about wasting my time?" he snarled out, giving me a hard shake and from there, the words poured out so quickly I couldn't stop them if I wanted to. I had gone into survival mode and nothing mattered more than to keep that wand from casting spells in my direction.  
  
"I will make a deal with you...my Lord." I had managed to toss out and I distinctly remember the look of surprise that flashed across his face before he seemed almost amused. A soft, deadly chuckle escaped his lips and he tossed me back into the waiting arms of two of his death eaters, one of whom seemed rather reluctant to catch me. Nervously I looked back and saw blackness in the vision slits of his mask. Black eyes. I don't even remember trying to struggle. I think I was just too terrified to move as Voldemort inclined his head toward me, a horrible smirk pressing his thin, colorless lips together.  
  
"I don't make deals." was all he answered, his voice no louder than a whisper. The next thing I remember is his wand pointing to me and pain. Pain like I have never felt before searing through every part of my body. Blinding, white hot, it felt as if every nerve in my body was inflamed to a spectacular degree. My knees buckled but I did not hit the ground. I was twitching horribly like some disfigured puppet and I heard my screams clearly in my ears as the two Death Eaters struggled to hold me up. I don't know how long it lasted, it could have been a matter of minutes or hours. All I knew was that when the pain ceased I was panting, only standing because my arms were being held up and I talked.  
  
"I'm their secret keeper," I panted out, eyes closed tightly, "Not Dumbledore, not Black...me." I remember having been so proud when James had asked me to bear this honor. Now looking back on it I could see how foolish I was to believe that this meant in some way that I, Peter, was better than Remus or Sirius. I had failed to see that it was just a ploy, a well thought out ploy. I was vapid and talentless, of course no one would believe that the Potters would bestow such a responsibility on me. I think that even when I told the circle of Death Eaters, told the Dark Lord, I was proud that it was I. That pride was short-lived however as Voldemort pursed his lips in thought.  
  
I barely noticed that one of the Death Eaters holding me up was speaking, his voice was liquid, smooth and deep. I knew I remembered it from somewhere but with the pain I had endured my mind was stunted and I couldn't place it, I only caught half of what he was saying. ".....isn't stupid. I'm sure that no one in their right mind would entrust Pettigrew with something so important. Personally, I still believe that Sirius Black knows the location of the Potters." I blinked as the words finally registered in my mind as I shook my head silently.  
  
Voldemort took a step closer, peering down at me once more with an insane flicker in his eyes. "Yes," he drawled a moment as if deep in thought, "Yes...but what if that is what the old fool wants me to think." There was a momentary mumble throughout the crowd before he stuck out his hand once more to cease it. "Indeed Sirius Black knows where they are...but he will not help me if he is not their secret keeper. You, however, claim that you are. Very well then, speak up and tell me where I may find the Potters."  
  
One of the hands holding me up clenched around my shoulder, long fingers curling and nails biting into my skin, but at the moment I hadn't even recognized the fact that it was Snape. I cleared my throat before continuing, "I am their secret keeper...they are staying in a home in Godric's Hollow protected by just about any charm that would do it service." I panted. Voldemort remained silent for a few moments afterward, slit like eyes narrowing even further as he regarded me.  
  
"You should be able to see it now that I've told you..." I added, tone emotionless. He simply nodded, snapping his fingers and smiling down at me. As if that movement was an unspoken order, a stout looking Death Eater moved to his side, pressing a long, thin object into his waiting hand. At the time I couldn't fathom what it was, or why he had asked for it. I didn't even get a good look at it as he had quickly placed it behind his back and was once more staring down at me with a hard gaze.  
  
"You do realize what you have done, have you not?" he questioned, arching a brow. I nodded stupidly. Of course I couldn't possibly know the full consequences of what events would unfurl that night. I only knew that I had, in some sick way, saved myself from almost certain death. In fact, I had probably saved Remus and Sirius as well. The Dark Lord pursed his lips as if considering, and nodded to one of the Death Eaters that was holding me up. In turn, the aforementioned dragged the sleeve of my robe up, baring my forearm to the night as I looked on in confusion.  
  
"You have allied yourself with me, through this betrayal of your friends. This makes you one of my own. Do you accept this?" he questioned, eyes bearing into me. Weakly I nodded, I wasn't the smartest person to graduate Hogwarts, but I knew very well that saying no would more than likely result in a very large amount of pain and displeasure. Again I nodded, mumbling a, "Yes.yes my Lord. Perfectly."  
  
He smiled and in an instant, the tool placed in his hand was pressed against my skin, a sick sizzling sound resulting as it burned. I squeezed my eyes shut, clamping my teeth over my lower lip to keep from screaming and in a moment, cool night air kissed the spot and I opened me eyes, turning my gaze towards it. It was a tattoo, burned into my flesh. That of a snake coiled in a skull and I knew I had seen it before. The dark mark. It was the deepest black in color, but as I watched, it faded into a patch of slightly discolored skin. However, Voldemort had turned his attention back to the circle, arms up as if in victory as he shouted out to them. His voice rang with arrogance and glee as I listened half-heartedly.  
  
"Yes my loyal followers, it is time. Those that are foolish enough to oppose us have been falling one by one to their rightful deaths. That senile old idiot, sitting safe within his castle will be dealt a hard blow tonight." He paused, in his speech, stretching an arm out, curling his fingers and pointing to me. "Another has joined us in our efforts, and he has graciously bestowed upon me the knowledge I have been searching for. He has told me how to find James Potter and his simpering mudblood wife." A small smile curled across his features, eyes flashing dangerously.  
  
"And of course.since I have devoted much of my energy to this, I wish to end this tonight. I myself will be the one who decides their fate, I myself will go to their safe haven and I will make sure they are all dead by the time I leave. You all know what to do, Lucius you will be my back up. Arrive at the home in fifteen minutes. The rest of you will gather back here in one hour's time. Farewell," he closed, nodding to them all and one by one the small cracks sounded as they disapparated away. I felt sick to my stomach as I pulled myself up and did the same, ignoring the burning gaze on my back from the black eyed Death Eater.  
  
A/N: Wow, yes I'm back and I've been wanting to do something like this for a while, only I haven't found the inspiration to do it. Well, Order of the Phoenix gave me that inspiration with the death of *Beep* Grumble grumble.anyway, I was thinking of maybe expanding this to continue the entire story from Snape and Sirius' point of view but I'm not sure. Lemme know in some reviews and I'll love you! xD. 


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